This article is worth reading if only to marvel at the creative genius that caused the writer, when under pressure to produce a credible story of childhood angst within seconds rather than blow his cover, to come up with this:
"Hello," I said, taking a deep breath. "My name is Matt. My father was an alcoholic circus clown who used to beat me with his oversize shoes."
Also, it turns out that there's a demon of handwriting analysis. Who knew?