Archive for the ‘the horror’ Category

South by SouthEastern, continued.

Tuesday, January 19th, 2010

The fallout from SouthEastern Railway's utter failure to cope with the recent snow continues, and you'll find a good summary of the latest developments here. One thing to add is that, of the three politicans I contacted, one has sent a proper reply.

Bridget Prentice MP (for Lewisham East) confirmed receipt of my letter via email, then sent a full response by post. In it she said:

"…I am very sorry to hear of these concerns and hope they can be addressed in full very soon.

I have written to South Eastern Trains's Public Affairs Manager and have raised with him your concerns. I have asked him to respond to these concerns, and to let me know what South Eastern intends to do in future to ensure that services will not be affected by weather doncitions in the way they have over the past few days. As soon as I have a reply, I will write to you again."

This seems to me more than fair, and I'm grateful for Ms Prentice's intervention. I now look forward to the company's reply – not least to see if it bears many similarities to the less-than-helpful ones received by Bexcentric and published here.

Update: On the 23rd of January I received, via the office of Ms Prentice, a 'Briefing Document' from SouthEastern Trains. It's the same document already sent to Bexcentric, and published here.

In response, I've sent the following back to the company, with Ms Prentice CC'd:

Dear Mr [Contact name]

Thanks for passing on, via Bridget Prentice MP, the SouthEastern Railways briefing document regarding the limited service operated on the 5th to 8th January – I note that this response has also been distributed to others. I do have two further questions, however, which I'd appreciate if you could answer.

Given that:

* According to your document, on the 6th of January SouthEastern ran 665 services rather than 2024 – less than one third of a standard timetable, thus leaving up to two-thirds of customers unable to use the service they pay for

* Southern Railways, which operates the same "third rail" electrification system on infrastructure also provided by Network Rail, attempted to run a full service that day, as it did throughout the period of 6-8 January

* SouthEastern Railways receives a significant subsidy from the taxpayer to operate its services – a subsidy that, in 2009, worked out at over £350,000 per day

* On the 9th of January, despite no improvement in weather conditions, SouthEastern decided that it was suddenly able to provide a full Saturday timetable – with more trains and later running than during the 5th to 8th January.

SouthEastern Railway customers could be forgiven for getting the impression that both:

A) The management of SouthEastern Railway cut its service from Weds 6th to Friday 8th in order to avoid damaging its punctuality and reliability statistics, and thus avoid paying compensation to customers as per its 'Passengers' Charter' rather than out of necessity (after all, on Saturday 9th, when the charter no longer applied, the service immediately recovered), and

B) The management of SouthEastern Railway have no intention of delivering value to the taxpayer in return for its Government subsidy.

So, I have two questions. Both can be answered with a simple yes or no:

1) In order to avoid the appearance of slashing services merely to avoid paying passenger compensation, will SouthEastern mark its own  reliability results down to 32.8% (per your running statistics: 665/2024 = 0.328) over the three day period of 6-8 Jan, thus providing a fair chance of customers receiving reasonable compensation for its limited service over this period?

2) In order to avoid the appearance of taking a huge subsidy but providing a service only when it sees fit, will SouthEastern return an appropriate percentage of its last subsidy – say 67% (again, per your statistics) of the amount of subsidy received per day, for three days? Alternatively, perhaps an equivalent sum – I make it just under £749,000 – could be donated, as a gesture of goodwill, to the DEC Appeal for Haiti, providing a positive end to this entire debacle.

Many thanks for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you.

All the best

Tom

Will update when I hear back.

SouthEastern Railways – the Network Rail response

Thursday, January 7th, 2010

On Tuesday night, with snow forecast for the South East, SouthEastern railways introduced an emergency timetable for Wednesday. As it happens, South Eastern London didn't see that much snow, but with fewer and shorter trains serving the area on Wednesday morning, Hither Green station looked a bit like this:

All the trains were packed, and commuters were stranded. Many gave up entirely and went home. The situation was made worse as SouthEastern proceeded to cancel all metro services that night (lines closed around 8pm) and implement the same severely limited timetable today and, as it stands, tomorrow. You can read far more comprehensive accounts of the failure at Londonist here and 853 here.

Londonist asked SouthEastern what on earth was going on, and received the following:

"The decision to run a revised timetable was made based on the advice from Network Rail, who has responsibility for the track and they decide what service we will be able to provide.

They were out overnight with de-icing trains and we also ran ghost trains around the entire network, not just in London.

To ensure that we were able to provide a reliable service throughout the entire day and have the right staff and rolling stock in place for the evening peak, when the worst of the snow and ice hit London, we needed to run the revised timetable from the morning, as it would have been almost impossible to implement at the last minute for the afternoon. Our trains also come into London from across Kent where they will, of course, also be subject to the snow and icy conditions found there.

We told passengers at the earliest possible moment on Tuesday of the revised timetable through texts, emails, station notices, onboard announcements, station announcements and providing extra staff at stations, as well as advising the media of the plans.

The revised timetable remains in place for today (Thursday) and tomorrow (Friday) and we are asking passengers to check with National Rail Enquiries for services and to check when their last train home tonight will be."

So apparently it's all Network Rail's fault. I asked Network Rail and, for what it's worth, here's the response I've received from the press office:

"Network Rail and the train operators (in this case Southeastern) have agreed contingency plans in place to operate train services in extreme weather conditions.

In severe winter weather running a reduced service allows us to respond to any incidents quicker, with the intention of resolving them before they have a significant knock-on impact on other services.   We do everything we can to reduce the risk of passengers being stranded on trains which can happen quickly when the network is operating at normal levels.  Both Network Rail and the train operators also face the challenges of moving staff to where they need to be to do their job, particularly when the road conditions are as severe as they are at present.

We are working closely with the train operators to run as many trains as possible.  We will continue to review the situation on a frequent basis with a view to resuming a normal service as soon as possible."

I've asked the company – whose press office has, I should add, beem prompt and helpful – why Network Rail and SouthEastern have implemented such drastic cuts while other services in far more snowy areas are carrying on regardless, and will update when I get a reply – hopefully tomorrow.

Quick update: Transport Minister Paul Clark MP has said he'll be writing to SouthEastern to ask for a meeting with management. I've raised the obvious question, but please do pass on any others.

Another update: a reply from National Rail's press office. I'd asked why SouthEastern services were so severely restricted despite minimal snowfall in the SouthEastern metro line area:

"A one-size-fits-all approach wouldn't work in these circumstances. The contingency plans in place take into account a wide range of factors specific to each route including the characteristics of the railway infrastructure itself and the type of trains which run on it.

We can assure your readers that Network Rail and Southeastern are working hard to run as many trains as possible and the plans in place aim to achieve this. We will continue to review the effectiveness of the plans and if we identify a way to improve them further, we will do so.

In addition to the volume of snow on some parts of the network, we have also experienced some problems as a result of the prolonged freezing temperatures which have been experienced in Kent. The third rail electrification system used to the south of the capital can be susceptible to this sort of weather, especially when combined with rain or melting snow. Special trains which spray hot de-icer fluid on the tracks/third rail and empty trains, known as 'ghost trains', are run across the network to try and prevent ice forming, however, if ice does form it can interfere with the power systems on the trains and cause significant disruption.

We apologise for any disruption to passenger's journeys but we have a duty of care to passengers and our staff and it would be irresponsible to ignore the severity of the forecast and how the icy conditions can result in trains being stranded. We'll continue to do what we can to run the best possible rail service in the circumstances – it is in nobody's interest to do anything other than this."

Two years

Monday, March 23rd, 2009

More depressing news. Stumbled across this today on the journalism blog Getting Ink:

Indeed, one magazine editor said someone looking to break into journalism should expect to work for free for two years. Yes, you read that right – TWO YEARS. Jesus.

I checked to find the editor in question. Journalism.co.uk attributed the statement to Maureen Rice of Psychologies (at Hachette Fillipacchi), although she has clarified the statement on the same site:

I would like to clarify: I didn't say that journalists "should expect" to work for free for two years, and certainly didn't imply that I consider that standard or desirable. I said I'd known people work for up to two years in a variety or work experience placements and internships before landing a properly paying job.

Which isn't quite as bad, but still – two years? Really?

The whole idea of working for free (work experience, internship – pick your own euphemism) to get a job is not, of course, new, and I did the same thing. Some places were interesting and useful – a brief spell at the BBC was my first opportunity to learn anything at all about television news – but it's not easy working without pay. And that's despite the fact that I was lucky enough to be able to live at home at the time, and to find a full time day job from which I could take "holidays" working on, for example, the local paper – not everyone has it that easy.

And then, of course, I was lucky enough to get a paid job on a magazine. Would I have managed to stick unpaid work for two years? I'm really not sure that I could have. And, given that I'm not entirely sure what other jobs I could actually do, that's a rather depressing thought.

Dear Lewisham readers..

Monday, August 18th, 2008

A very quick plea for information: can anyone recommend a double glazing company?

We have a load of knackered Victorian windows that desperately need replacing, but finding someone trustworthy to do the job is proving somewhat tricky. If anyone has any experience of any local companies, I'd love to hear it – thanks.

Due disclosure: as a student I once worked, briefly, for a large double glazing company. My job was to phone people up and ask if they'd like to purchase windows, soffits (no idea) or fascias (ditto), which was in itself pretty loathsome. What made it even more hateful was that I was supposed to be doing so during the World Cup, when many people were less than pleased to be called to the phone and away from the little people kicking a ball inside the television. I'd like to point out in mitigation that I lasted barely two weeks and failed to sell a single product, largely through lack of trying, but I can't shake the feeling that our current glazing predicament may well be some form of karmic revenge.

Oh I do like to be, etc.

Friday, July 25th, 2008

It's hot in London – hotter than our office air conditioning and public transport can comfortably cope with. The tourists have come out, too – big groups of them, marching around Charing Cross behind some berk with a flag, standing on the left on the escalators, stopping abruptly to stare agog at Planet Hollywood (yes, really) and filling Trafalgar Square each and every evening to hear the dodgy reggae busker, admire the man who dances the moonwalk to an invisible soundtrack and give financial encouragement to the "pavement artists". Sheesh.

Bearing in mind the effect these factors have on Tom's third law of city living [(Heat+Tourists) * Lenth of Commute = Increase in impotent rage] it was time to get out of town. So today we scuttled off to be beside the seaside, de dum de dum.

I haven't really had much experience of British seaside resorts. Helen, on the other hand, visited just about every single one as a child and has fond memories of several, so she picked a resort and off we went – an hour and a half down the A2/M2 to Broadstairs, Kent. And here it is. Isn't it pretty?

Broadstairs beach

As it turns out, Broadstairs had pretty much everything I'd imagined that one would find at a British seaside town on a hot day: beer, food of dubious nutritional merit, crying children, sunburnt pensioners, and those funny portable wind shelter things that British people seem to cart around the world. On the other hand, it also had a few things I didn't expect: a beautifully clean, sandy beach, and people happily paddling and swimming in the sea (which given the stiff breeze must have been freezing). We marvelled at the array of condiments served up with lunch, watched kids feed scampi to the seagulls, and counted dog pawprints on the beach – it was all very nice, and you'll find a lot of photos on Flickr here.

And then we went to Margate.

Margate, just around the corner, had pretty much everything you'd expect from a run-down seaside town, and then some. On the plus side, it too had a lovely beach – a great yellow bay of gleaming sand, packed with families enjoying the intermittent sunshine. Walk down the front, however, and you'll likely wind up depressed.

We went looking for the Scenic Railway – an old wooden roller-coaster that Helen remembered from childhood visits. We did eventually find what's left of it – a few wooden tracks rising up above a kind of metal shack, tucked away behind Dreamland. Here's Dreamland, or what's left of it:

Dreamland

Dreamland must have once been a striking art deco building. Today it's covered in strikingly ugly plastic signs (CASH BINGO!), and mostly shut. Walk down past the closed cimena (showing OO YEM ARGATE, apparently) and you'll find the entrance to the amusement park, which is missing a giant plastic letter from its giant plastic sign. Inside the glass doors we could spot a lot of dust and a haphazardly abandoned Time Crisis arcade machine – it looked like it had closed in a hurry. In fact, it turns out that the Scenic Railway was earmarked as a listed building before it caught fire earlier this year. I can't find any reference to the main Dreamland site opening in 2008 at all; presumably the owners gave up.

Dreamland isn't the only thing that's evidently suffered in recent years. We passed a shopping arcade that now held just three stores (a joke shop, a burger shack and a not terribly subtle "bong shop"), and the biggest amusement arcade on the road – the Tivoli – was completely closed. On the way out of town we marvelled at the Shell Ladies of Margate (who I presume have left town) and listened to a drug addict complaining in a loud, public manner to his dealer about the quality or otherwise of his merchandise. It was clearly time to go back to London.

So, the moral, or something close to it: if you have the time, go to Broadstairs. Eat fish, see the sea, avoid the gargantuan seagulls. It's all very nice. Margate, however, is an experience. Go for the beach, but unless you happen to have some sort of economic rescue package in the boot of your car the town's probably best avoided. Southend on Sea is nicer, but then so is Lewisham.

Bumper pack, you say?

Wednesday, July 9th, 2008

While looking for an article on the "25 bits of meat for a fiver" Iceland is advertising on TV, I found this:

£5 gets you 28 of what appear to be the processed meat equivalent of a Twister. Yum.

On a related note, if you search Google for "iceland barbeque meat", without quotes, you'll find article about the manufacture of beef burgers near the top of the page, which is shocking in a predictable and tabloidy kind of way. And now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to eat some leaves.

"Enough doing, TALK"

Thursday, July 3rd, 2008

God I'm grumpy today. When looking at the wall of inspirational post-it notes pictured on this Guardian article ("enough talk, DO", "Help people make things better", "Fixing things", etc), all I want to do is stick a few of my own up:

  • Most people don't care
  • Many people are stupid
  • Doing without talking first is generally dangerous

Coffee needed.

No, don't leave.. we have cake?

Sunday, June 15th, 2008

Er, hi!

.. you're looking for what now? No, er, no. No, we don't have that.

This is of course entirely my fault, but surprising nonetheless – turns out I'm now fifth on Google for the aforementioned search term (you probably don't want to visit the four NSFW sites above me). And now by posting this I suppose I'm going to exacerbate the problem. Meh. Under these circumstances a 100% bounce rate might actually count as a good thing?

HCSFJMWTF

Tuesday, June 10th, 2008

Courtesy of Wonkette, please enjoy the "World's Dumbest Website": Hillary Clinton Supporters For John McCain (dot com). Even ignoring the terrible URL (hcsfjm to you too) and the web design, which is held back from Internet '96 status only by the lack of a little picture of a stick man digging, it's horrible. And stupid. Really, really, really stupid, in fact. Check the comments.

First, the SCREAMING CAPITALS

I'M JUST CONFUSED HOW THE HELL THESE WHITEYS ARE VOTING FOR THIS ANTI AMERICAN HUSSAIN OSAMA ON THE TOP OF THAT WHO HAS NO RESUME WHAT SO EVER TO BECOME THE PRESIDENT OF UNITED STATES, THE ONLY THING HE HAS IS SCRIPTED SPEECH AND THE SCARY ANTI AMERICAN CORRUPTED FRIENDS . I WOULD NEVER VOTE FOR THIS TERRORIST NO MATTER WHO IS IN THE TICKET, I'M VOTING FOR JOHN MCCAIN WE CAN TRUST HIM WITH OUR EYES CLOSED NO MATTER WHO IS HIS FRIENDS ARE NOT HUSSAIN OSAMA AND HIS WIFE

and the CPTLIZD TXT SPK FROM D KIDZ:

HILLARY WUZ CHEATED Y DINT THEY COUNT TEH VOTEZ FROM MI AND FL THAT IS NOT OK 2 DISSENFRANCHIZE VOTERZ LIKE THAT OBAMA IS A MUSLIM DUSNT THAT SCARE NEONE A MUSLM AND PROBLY HAZ TIES 2 TERRORUISTS IN TEH MIDDLE EAST. HIS MIDDLE NAME IS HUSSEIN LIKE SADDAM PPL! HILLARY 4EVER I HOPE SHE RUNS AS AN IND BUT IF NOT I AM VOTING 4 MCCAN.

To be fair, even the hcsfjm editor complained about the legibility of that guy. But then there's the DRUGS!

I'm a small town pizza maker here in Weed, CA.
I've dropped out of the campaign for Hillary with pizza in hand, despondent over the loss of our party to the extreemists of obama.
beside,s he did DRUGS!
We don't need him in the whitehouse, it will be like that mayor from DC Maryan Berry.

Love the idea of "dropping out with pizza in hand", though. Some have done exhaustive research:

I can't stand Obama. If anyone cared to look up his full name on his website, his middle name is Hussein. Who the hell wants a Hussein in as our president. This just goes to prove that our electoral system is so far rigged, it's not funny.

Others have resorted to theology:

I have always said Obama was probably the anti-christ so everyone needs to BE WARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK, I'm ware. What next? Political theory:

Obama equals socialism pushing Karl Marx agenda – take from those who can and give to those in need

Giving to people in need? Heresy. This guy invokes the name of Louis, er, Ferrykahn:

I called a local radio program here called "take a stand" 570 in asheville nc. I called to say why I wasnt voting for Obama. I prefaced by saying that I voted for clinton, gore and kerry, but would not vote for obama because he was a marxist and hung out with ferrykahn.

And then possibly the only time you'll ever read the sentence:

WHERE IS RALPH NADER WHEN WE NEED HIM???

It's mindboggling. Also check out this video, much beloved of the hcsfjm crowd, which includes the damning indictment "With America at war with Islamic terrorism, can we elect a man with not one, not two, but three Islamic names?". At least it doesn't add LIKE SADDAM PPL, I suppose.

But is it art?

Thursday, May 1st, 2008

I'm not normally prone to fits of Google-bashing – Google is my homepage (search bar be damned, I want a really big box to type keywords into), the only way that I manage to find anything online without tearing my own hair out* and, as far as I'm concerned, if the company takes over the world then it would at least be a better leader than Boris Johnson. Mind you, so would either one of my pet cats.

Google's new Artist Themes, however, are really, really awful. I know it's difficult to define what art is, but even I can come up with a pretty good list of what it isn't:

  1. Coldplay
  2. Dolce & Gabbana
  3. Lance Armstrong

And so on and so on through most of the other "artist" themes. And then there's something more objectionable than all of the above: Anne (bloody) Geddes, whose entire body of work consists of portraits of babies photoshopped into petals.

I know it's rather silly to get wound up by this kind of thing, but on one occasion I found myself in a bookshop in Blackheath watching someone buy a hideous coffee table volume of Geddes' hideous photos and it took all my willpower not to run over and attempt to intercede by, if necessary, breaking down and causing a scene. If I took all my photos of Hunter and Ralph as kittens then ineptly cloned them onto the standard Windows Vista desktop wallpaper photos the results would be more worthwhile. Maybe I should become an "artist".

* I'd probably look better, but it hurts.