No, don't leave.. we have cake?
.. you're looking for what now? No, er, no. No, we don't have that.
This is of course entirely my fault, but surprising nonetheless - turns out I'm now fifth on Google for the aforementioned search term (you probably don't want to visit the four NSFW sites above me). And now by posting this I suppose I'm going to exacerbate the problem. Meh. Under these circumstances a 100% bounce rate might actually count as a good thing?