tomroyal.com

Ohio went for the democrats as predicted, and 338 to 163 makes it a resounding victory. Thank fuck. And it should be noted that McCain who was, prior to the campaign ticket, always a representative of the saner side of the republican party, gave a graceful and impressive concession speech (See also here - "Yes, we will watch John McCain, who is looking down with disgust at his supporters, who are booing and hissing. It is no fun to lose a contest. But good god, his supporters are garbage"). Good for him.

As for Palin, I hope she gets hunted down by a helicopter full of angry moose. Go moose.

Spent tonight at the British Society of Magazine Editors awards. Gongs were handed out, Grazia won the top award, and Felix Dennis recited a poem - so far, so normal -  but most people had something else on their minds. Top marks, in fact, to the editor of Vogue, who collected an award at the oh-so-formal event wearing an Obama 08 t-shirt.

Back at the flat, and with polls on the east coast closed for three hours CNN is projecting 174 to 49 in the electoral college and a 52 to 33 senate split with Florida and North Carolina currently impossible to call. Oh, and Arizona, oddly, is also still listed orange. Everything looks fairly good, in fact. But then hardly any of the votes have actually been counted, and for all CNN's fancy graphics (and my, are they fancy - Wolf Blitzer has what appears to be a giant iPod Touch that interfaces directly with the collective mind of America, or something) these are only projections based on exit polls. And polls, as we all know, often suck. Bah. I would check Fox for the view-from-mars polls (they've probably called California for McCain) but Virgin Media doesn't carry it. Damn you liberal media, etc.

And now it's 2am and the exit polls in my brain are reporting 15% drunk, 70% exhausted and 30% no longer able to work out percentage splits, so I'm going to bed. And if things take a turn for the worse overnight, expect me to be grumpy for a while. Like, say, four years.

PS - now they've cut to some country music berk in Arizona with the promise of a "major projection". I'm a sucker, but I'm going to wait for this one.

PPS - this is quite clearly a ploy to make me sit through shitty commercials, and it's working.

PPPS - 2.40am and Ohio projected to Obama after 15% count (<2m), 55% to 44%. CNN describing Republican position as "very bleak". CNBC talking about lines being crossed and the size of margins in the senate rather than the overall result. If this is correct, excellent. Now, bed.

Courtesy of Wonkette, please enjoy the "World's Dumbest Website": Hillary Clinton Supporters For John McCain (dot com). Even ignoring the terrible URL (hcsfjm to you too) and the web design, which is held back from Internet '96 status only by the lack of a little picture of a stick man digging, it's horrible. And stupid. Really, really, really stupid, in fact. Check the comments.

First, the SCREAMING CAPITALS

I'M JUST CONFUSED HOW THE HELL THESE WHITEYS ARE VOTING FOR THIS ANTI AMERICAN HUSSAIN OSAMA ON THE TOP OF THAT WHO HAS NO RESUME WHAT SO EVER TO BECOME THE PRESIDENT OF UNITED STATES, THE ONLY THING HE HAS IS SCRIPTED SPEECH AND THE SCARY ANTI AMERICAN CORRUPTED FRIENDS . I WOULD NEVER VOTE FOR THIS TERRORIST NO MATTER WHO IS IN THE TICKET, I'M VOTING FOR JOHN MCCAIN WE CAN TRUST HIM WITH OUR EYES CLOSED NO MATTER WHO IS HIS FRIENDS ARE NOT HUSSAIN OSAMA AND HIS WIFE

and the CPTLIZD TXT SPK FROM D KIDZ:

HILLARY WUZ CHEATED Y DINT THEY COUNT TEH VOTEZ FROM MI AND FL THAT IS NOT OK 2 DISSENFRANCHIZE VOTERZ LIKE THAT OBAMA IS A MUSLIM DUSNT THAT SCARE NEONE A MUSLM AND PROBLY HAZ TIES 2 TERRORUISTS IN TEH MIDDLE EAST. HIS MIDDLE NAME IS HUSSEIN LIKE SADDAM PPL! HILLARY 4EVER I HOPE SHE RUNS AS AN IND BUT IF NOT I AM VOTING 4 MCCAN.

To be fair, even the hcsfjm editor complained about the legibility of that guy. But then there's the DRUGS!

I'm a small town pizza maker here in Weed, CA.
I've dropped out of the campaign for Hillary with pizza in hand, despondent over the loss of our party to the extreemists of obama.
beside,s he did DRUGS!
We don't need him in the whitehouse, it will be like that mayor from DC Maryan Berry.

Love the idea of "dropping out with pizza in hand", though. Some have done exhaustive research:

I can't stand Obama. If anyone cared to look up his full name on his website, his middle name is Hussein. Who the hell wants a Hussein in as our president. This just goes to prove that our electoral system is so far rigged, it's not funny.

Others have resorted to theology:

I have always said Obama was probably the anti-christ so everyone needs to BE WARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK, I'm ware. What next? Political theory:

Obama equals socialism pushing Karl Marx agenda - take from those who can and give to those in need

Giving to people in need? Heresy. This guy invokes the name of Louis, er, Ferrykahn:

I called a local radio program here called "take a stand" 570 in asheville nc. I called to say why I wasnt voting for Obama. I prefaced by saying that I voted for clinton, gore and kerry, but would not vote for obama because he was a marxist and hung out with ferrykahn.

And then possibly the only time you'll ever read the sentence:

WHERE IS RALPH NADER WHEN WE NEED HIM???

It's mindboggling. Also check out this video, much beloved of the hcsfjm crowd, which includes the damning indictment "With America at war with Islamic terrorism, can we elect a man with not one, not two, but three Islamic names?". At least it doesn't add LIKE SADDAM PPL, I suppose.

From the WSJ, a quote attributed to Michelle Obama:

"Barack," she interjected, "Feel — don't think!" Telling her husband his "over-thinking" during past debates had tripped him up with rival Hillary Clinton, she said: "Don't get caught in the weeds. Be visceral. Use your heart — and your head."

Because, as we all know, the last thing anyone could want or need is a politician that, you know, actually thinks.

Also, I came across this in a book on dominionist Christians. It's attributed to one Dee Simmons, who peddles nutritional supplements that are very specifically not sold as being able to cure cancer on a website that has a page titled "Natural Cancer Survival", and she's describing her daughter's wedding:

"There was a huge fireworks display," Simmons says, "but I am too embarrassed to tell you how much it cost. When the fireworks stopped, a quartet sang 'God Bless America.' There was a saxophone solo. Everyone had chills".

This sounded to me like something from a Don DeLillo novel in which a character, designed to represent a particularly loathsome segment of American society, is being set up for quiet judgment and ridicule. I suppose I hadn't realised how closely art mirrors life in this case.

From today's Guardian:
(Obama) "is the political equivalent of Facebook, another phenomenon that launched in 2004 that feels as though it has been around forever."
No, no he isn't. And it doesn't. For fuck's sake.