Obviously I took the results from Hackney because, you know, they make the point better. But it still works, right?

Eagle eyed Lewisham residents will note, of course, that there was no Lewisham Mayoral election in 2008. The last was in 2006. More importantly, that election saw the Lib Dems come in second (18,889) behind Labour (25,129), with the Tory candidate languishing in third (10,790). The Green Party did pretty well, too, coming in fourth with 7168. Full results here.

The figures in Mr Nundy's graph are from the 2008 London Mayoral Election, where it was a two horse race between Boris Johnson and Ken Livingstone – a rather different set of circumstances. So here we have a clear attempt to pass off one set of figures as another in an attempt to woo tactical anti-Labour votes away from the Lib Dems. Perhaps the idea is that we Lewisham voters won't be bright enough to spot the trick.

I've emailed Mr Nundy to ask for his comments – but then Brockley Central picked up on this a few days ahead of me and they've heard nothing yet.

It's also important to note that it seems the Conservative party isn't the only one publishing some rather unusual graphs around here. Green Party candidate Darryl Chamberlain pointed out that Greenwich Labour appear to be up to some funny business in Peninsula Ward.

These are the Merchant Taylors' Almshouses. They are in Lewisham, and normally strictly closed to the public, but this weekend you can visit them as part of the London Open House initiative. Just off the A20 behind the (also open) Boone's Chapel.

* Whatever happened to the "o" and "gh" in drive through? Were they quietly murdered, and the bodies dropped in the mid-Atlantic?

I didn't know what to expect when I arrived at Lewisham shopping centre, in south east London, at 6.15 in the morning, but it certainly wasn’t to find the centre deserted, barred and locked. I started wondering how embarrassing it would be to be the only person in the queue.

See, here's where local knowledge is useful – that's exactly what I'd expect in the middle of Lewisham at 6.15am – well, that and some generic fried chicken boxes fluttering in the breeze. I am rather disappointed that a pre-order queue did indeed form shortly afterwards, though. For shame.

And so we enter four years of floppy-fringed fascism*. I think London should sit on the naughty step until it learns a little about democratic responsibilities such as actually examining manifestos and not believing everything printed in the Baby Mail, which showed its true colours over the past few weeks.

On a local level, though, there were reasons to be both cheerful and horrified:

Good news: the vast majority of the turnout goes to serious parties that had considered policies for the key issues in the city (although these policies obviously varied in merit): Labour, Tories and the Lib-Dems. Also, good news from my perspective: Labour hold the area.

Bad news: eight and a half thousand people – or 5% of voters – in my area saw fit to vote for the National Front. In nearby Bexley and Bromley (easily won by James Cleverly, a Conservative) the NF candidate took over 11,000 votes. Almost 20,000 people in South East London, then, chose to vote NF.

The NF isn't, like UKIP, simply a party of anti-federalists and simpler "save the pound, God save the Queen" types united in a dislike of Europe – it's a party that wants, according to its website, "Britain to remain a white country". Some of the votes it has gathered might be a mere protest against the three main parties – but wouldn't those who simply want to protest against perceived Westminster cronyism vote UKIP, who also ran in the area?

Although this election shows an obvious swing to the right across the board, almost certainly courtesy of petrol pump paranoia (again, no thanks to Dacre and co) and Northern Rock, I'd be surprised if former Labour voters would swing much further than Cameron's Conservatives out of some generalised fear of an economic malaise or simpler dislike of Gordon Brown. Similarly, although some right-wing Tories might want to move away from Cameron and his hoodie-hugging (he hasn't caught me yet, fortunately) I can't see them moving further than UKIP.

And so we're left with the prospect that thousands of people in this city genuinely want a political party that actually wants to deport non-white people from the UK (or "repatriation of all coloured people currently resident here" as it puts it). And that – however it might be caused – is both a terrifying and depressing prospect and something that needs to be addressed. Given Mr Johnson's past I'm not entirely convinced that he's the right man for the job, but this is something that should concern him and his supporters just as much as it does those of us to his left.

* Yes, I'm aware that Boris isn't a fascist, but I adore asinine alliteration.

Saint Peter: Welcome to Heaven. I'm afraid there's just a little form filling before we open up the pearly gates, but it won't take a second. So, tell me – what brought you into the church? Were you born a Christian?

Lewisman Resident: No.

SP: Did you convert at a church school?

LR: No.

SP: Did you have a moment of revelation? Witness any miracles?

LR: No, and no.

SP: Okay then – did you perhaps find comfort in the church after a traumatic event?

LR: Not really.

SP: Well then, perhaps you could tell me – where, how and why did you convert?

LR: Well, I saw this oddly-capitalised sticker on a lamp-post on the Lee High Road.

SP: Oh, right. Actually, you're the third person today to say that. [fills in "other" category on holy clipboard]